It had been a roller coaster ride... After some really nerve-wrecking exam, travelling home, getting some well deserved rest and sleep, some really nice food(which I haven't had for ages!), and here I am, refreshed and rejuvenated, ready to blog again. And I will start by sending some condolences to people in China suffering from the earthquake.In conjunction of the Wesak Day today, I will pray for them and hopefully, good things will happen soon.
What they need now is some miracle, and nowadays, its hard not to look up to God for it. In fact, my entire life, its all about MIRACLE. Just take the recent End of Semester exam as an example, whoever who get through this exam unhurt, and still be able to produce great results, I must salute them, because I personally really really struggled against it. With two weeks left before the exam, I was there without even a single bit of knowledge on all 4 subjects I am about to take(no kidding!!). And when I finally planned my last minute study, I find myself reading something totally impossible to understand, giving me a feeling of a Standard one kid reading Form one book, and I don't need people to tell me I am not a genius!! And as expected, the plan fell flat, I struggle to concentrate in the first week (signs of rustiness for not studying since long long ago), managed to muster few pages into my mind per day, only to forget everything the next day!! I said to myself"great, now you are doomed"
So one week is over, I am left with merely one more week to salvage something, but still, despite all the pressure, I am not panicking. Somehow some mental strength is built in some part of my life. Then I start to tell myself, stop worrying about the exam, stop worrying about not enough time, focus on every single paragraph, every single sentence, every single word, by reading every page, you are slowly earning your points in exam!! Never ever give up until the last minute!! Motivation is high, concentration is getting better, but still a high mountain to climb, and with exam coming the next day, my knowledge is still, very very limited...
Only pharmacy students will understand what am I writing in this paragraph...
Day one of exam, physical pharmacy.....
supposed to be the easiest subject and yet it turned out to be the hardest one, but knowledge from the earlier class test just got me through,barely....
Day two, Pharmacology......
nightmare for every students, and you will never believe your eyes when you read this, I took a big gamble, I skipped Autacoids, Eiconasoids, and CNS which is 40 percent of the subject, didn't study, absolutely no knowledge bout them whatsoever, and never attended any of the lecture!! Instead I focus all my time on one chapter, hopefully, it came out in the essay so that I can vomit everything on the paper, if not, I am doomed. And thank God the gamble paid off and the question was spot on!!
And in happen the same for the next two papers, biopharmacy and microbiology, which I managed to read bout 75 percent, which no knowledge at all in the others. But I fought through this exam with resilience, every point counts and eventually, at the end I feel one or 2 points could determine if I passed, which we will know in two weeks time, I brought my books back just in case, but... keep your fingers crossed, we will see if retake is next on the line.
So that, I believe is a miracle..... miracle made me survive from a plane crash, from almost drowned in a pool, from SPM where I only studied in the last 4 weeks, from an electric shock when I was 4 and from this time...It just kept happening!! Some people might wonder why miracles only happen to certain people but I believe, miracles happen when we worked for it. If you just sit down and pray everyday, miracle WILL NEVER fall from the sky... Everytime after exam I will tell myself that I will work harder next sem, no last minute study but... again and again I had to claw my way back from the cliff, so...not gonna promise anything to myself this time, we will see what happen next semester, of course, IF there is one....
So since today is a day of Buddha, would like to send a message to Osama bin Laden:
" Dear friend, I might not be a Muslim, but I believe in the existence of God. You might argue that your God is the true God and mine, is fake. But there is one thing I know, no one can prove which God exist and which don't. The only thing that everyone agrees though is God is always good, always wanting the best for human and would never ever want us to be hurt. God, would never want us to kill using His name... And in contrst your hand is full of blood of innocent people, and you say you are fighting a holy war, in God's name?? That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard in life. And if that's the true meaning of God, I would rather be a non-believer. Its unlikely you will read this but if you do, stop what you are doing... Coz if God is there, He is watching..."
Well, we will know soon if Miracle will again happen......